Today I was able to tell a friend a story about my trip to the Dominican, from which I just returned. The story was about another lesson that I have learned regarding provision.
When I arrived in the Dominican Republic, I had a feeling of great anticipation. I was unable to concentrate on much of anything until we arrived in Cielo. At church on Sunday, I was greeted by many friends, old and new, but did not see my sponsor family. The next day, I set out with another girl to visit Amaryllis and her four children. On the road to her house, we met her walking with her two youngest children Jasmine, 18 months, and Leslie, 3 years old. Both of the children were sick. I picked up Leslie to help Amaryllis carry the girls to the clinic, but Leslie began to cry because the sun was hurting her eyes, so I carried Jasmine instead. Though younger, Jasmine is actually larger than Leslie because Leslie was malnourished as a child.
As we walked, Amaryllis explained to me (in Spanish) that the girls had been sick for two weeks already. Jasmine's eye was swollen shut because both she and her sister had pink eye. On top of the infection both developed a fever and refused to eat or drink. Upon settling Amaryllis and Leslie in the waiting room at the clinic, I took Jasmine and got some water for the girls to try to drink. As I filled the cups of water, several young girls that were on a short term mission trip in Cielo prayed for Jasmine and Leslie. Both girls drank their cups of water while waiting for the doctor, which was necessary because of the strong heat.
The doctor assessed the girls' condition, which I did not understand and prescribed medicines, some of which were available at the clinic. I did not understand much of what occurred, but I did comprehend that there was still something more that the children needed, something their mom apparently could not get. She would not tell me what was wrong, so I told the doctor that it was okay, that she should tell me and I would get it for the girls. The request was simply for milk. Something we would never think twice about buying here, but which was too expensive for Amaryllis to afford for her girls. So, having had the exact type written down, I set out to figure out how to buy this milk. There were no stores close by, but one of the teenage boys volunteered to go get it for me from the store. He soon returned and we set out back to Amaryllis' house.
The following evening, the group that was visiting from Orlando, FL held a family fun festival at the community baseball field. Several hundred children attended to play games and win candy. It was an amazing sight to see. After it ended, as we were leaving for the night, I saw Amaryllis again. She had just returned from picking up her two sons, Georgy and Brian from their grandfather's house. Unfortunately, they arrived too late to enjoy the festivities and since we were leaving to eat dinner at the mission, I asked two guys in the group to walk the family home with me. Amaryllis had left the girls with her neighbors and when she went to pick them up Leslie was much worse. Both of her eyes were swollen shut, she was burning up and crying. The neighbor, an older mother, told Amaryllis she had to take her to the hospital. I stood by helpless, unsure of what to do. I could not go to the hospital with her. I had to return to my group. I kept asking what I could do, but in the end there was nothing to do, but write down her number and promise to call the next day to check on her.
On the way back, I ran into an American couple that we knew and asked them what they thought could be done. I was told to ask someone who was in charge. Halfway back to the mission, I saw the Director of the mission and asked him what he thought. "Anna, I have to put all of these supplies from the festival away tonight and it is already dark. I am too busy. I'm sorry, but I cannot help." As discouraged and disheartened as I was to hear this, it caused me to think more about the situation. I was upset and I wanted to help. After all, these children were like my little sisters. However, there were probably sick children in Cielo everyday. Some sicker than my little sisters. I could not help them all. I could not even help some of them, especially not everyday. I alone, could do next to nothing.
When I returned to the hotel, I was able to talk to the Executive Director and ask him about calling Amaryllis. He reminded me that it was late and suggested that I should check on them in the morning. I thought that calling was the least that I could do and I think seeing that I was troubled, he talked to me about getting worn out. Again, I could not help everyone. I could not do everything. But the Lord, the creator of all people, holds all His children in His hands. How much more does He love them than I do? How much more does He carry for their every need? I can do next to nothing, but He can do all things.
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? " Matthew 6:26
Here is a picture of the whole family, Amaryllis, Georgy (10), Brian (8), Jasmine (3) and Leslie (18 months). All happy and healthy at the end of my week in Cielo :)
The Lord is mighty and good and He gives us all that we require. As I begin to raise support to go on staff with Mission Emanuel, I am trusting the Lord for His provision. I know that He will supply more than I need. Please pray for me to continually trust the Lord, to stay focused on His goodness and provision and for support raising to go smoothly.
6.29.2009
Provision
6.21.2009
Fully Relying on God
Savior, He can move the mountains.
My God is mighty to save,
He is mighty to save.
Forever, author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave.
Jesus conquered the grave.
~Hillsong, Mighty to Save
I recently returned from a trip to the Dominican Republic to plan my move there in September. We sang this song, Mighty to Save, nearly everyday. Its a recent favorite of mine that contributes to a lesson I've been learning.
While I grew up in church and having a relationship with God, I have tried to maintain my own control over my life. Throughout the years and especially in college, God has shown me that this is futile. I am ill equipped to see the big picture. I do not know what the future holds and as a result most of the decisions I make are designed to mitigate future loss or pain. I settle for harmful relationships because they might be better than those I would find if I passed these ones up or at least, so I think, better than none at all.
Over the past few years and especially in the past few months, parts of my life had become overwhelming. I was unsatisfied with graduate school, my personal and family relationships and with the direction my life was heading. Yes, I was "successful" because I had good grades and worked several jobs, but I didn't have much joy. As I slowly began to yield over portions of my life obediently to God, praying about each one and searching for God's purpose in each situation, I found peace and the joy for which I had been longing.
My life will never be perfect -- God did not promise that. In fact, Jesus said that when we take up the cross and follow Him we will face persecution and difficulties. But I have found that when I encounter those difficulties, I have a friend and partner to help me see through the darkness. I may not always see it at first, I may still struggle for my own will, but ultimately I try to remember that God has never let me down. He has provided for me in every situation large or small.
For One who is mighty enough to make the whole earth tremble, who died upon the cross to redeem not only me, but all the world, what are my troubles compared to this? He is the author of my salvation and the author of my days. My simple prayer is "Lord, may your will be done." I couldn't ask for anything better.
6.07.2009
Finale
