Fully Relying on God

Savior, He can move the mountains.
My God is mighty to save,
He is mighty to save.
Forever, author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave.
Jesus conquered the grave.
~Hillsong, Mighty to Save

I recently returned from a trip to the Dominican Republic to plan my move there in September. We sang this song, Mighty to Save, nearly everyday. Its a recent favorite of mine that contributes to a lesson I've been learning.

While I grew up in church and having a relationship with God, I have tried to maintain my own control over my life. Throughout the years and especially in college, God has shown me that this is futile. I am ill equipped to see the big picture. I do not know what the future holds and as a result most of the decisions I make are designed to mitigate future loss or pain. I settle for harmful relationships because they might be better than those I would find if I passed these ones up or at least, so I think, better than none at all.

Over the past few years and especially in the past few months, parts of my life had become overwhelming. I was unsatisfied with graduate school, my personal and family relationships and with the direction my life was heading. Yes, I was "successful" because I had good grades and worked several jobs, but I didn't have much joy. As I slowly began to yield over portions of my life obediently to God, praying about each one and searching for God's purpose in each situation, I found peace and the joy for which I had been longing.

My life will never be perfect -- God did not promise that. In fact, Jesus said that when we take up the cross and follow Him we will face persecution and difficulties. But I have found that when I encounter those difficulties, I have a friend and partner to help me see through the darkness. I may not always see it at first, I may still struggle for my own will, but ultimately I try to remember that God has never let me down. He has provided for me in every situation large or small.

For One who is mighty enough to make the whole earth tremble, who died upon the cross to redeem not only me, but all the world, what are my troubles compared to this? He is the author of my salvation and the author of my days. My simple prayer is "Lord, may your will be done." I couldn't ask for anything better.