Dust

There are certain things that keep you grounded. Things that remind you who you are. Yesterday evening, I went to a bible study where we are reading Matthew and talking about the context of history and events happening within the book. Most of the history has to do with the Roman empire and it reminded me how much I love Roman history, mythology and Latin. I spent three years in high school learning Latin mainly because they did not offer Italian, which I eventually took in college. I don't remember much of the dead language I spent so much time learning, but I do remember the emperors and the daily life of the people of this epoch contemporaneous with Jesus and his disciples.

When I lived in Southern Italy, I took a trip with my mother and sister to Herculaneum. This smaller site is less famous than Pompeii, but better preserved. Here Mt. Vesuvius erupted showering ash and dust so quickly that those living there died within minutes suffocating in the thick air and buried in the dust. There was no time to escape. Houses and people were preserved by the volcanic eruption allowing historians and laypersons an unparalleled look at Roman life. Earthen jars used to store food and water, tile mosaics and clothing and jewelry were all found alongside the bodies of the dead.

I wonder what people will see when they look back at our lives. Perhaps some might say that I liked to travel. They might find many books in my house, perhaps clothing and shoes. But what does this really say about me? What do they see when they look now? Anthropologists believe that they can construct a person's whole life from the relics that are left behind -- what they ate, how they dressed, what they did. This says a lot about a person, but does it really say who they were? Everyone here eats rice and beans, wears t-shirts and jeans and goes to work or works in their house. That is so common that it says very little about the person. How then are we set apart? By our actions and our testimony.

What is your testimony? And what do your actions say about you? I have learned that I can be impulsive, reacting purely on emotion. I am transparent, communicating exactly what I think. But if I slow myself down and think more about a situation, the players and what is occurring, I come to a much more rational solution. I would like for my actions to be like those of Christ. Calm for the most part, caring and loving. The Lord listened to those around Him. He knew their needs and he cared for them. He did everything that He could to help those around them and give them a better life -- here on earth and eventually in heaven. Christ was selfless, not thinking about His own feelings, but knowing His purpose and carrying it through. As He died upon the cross, words He said that have most affected me are, "Forgive them for they know not what they do."

How many times am I tempted to be hurt by the actions of other people. To demand an explanation for their actions and their at times purposeful affronts. But who am I to want such things? If Jesus who was blameless in the sight of God and deserved to be treated with the utmost respect, dignity and worship did not demand these things on earth, how much less can I, who am nothing, have an expectation of others? Thus I must learn to become nothing, to believe myself unworthy of anything and to accept whatever comes my way. I do not deserve anything, nor should I have expectation of it. But this I do know, that when Christ comes in His glory is when we shall have our reward.